A Glimpse of What Goes on in My Mind

 

This is a glimpse of what goes on in my mind. Only a glimpse. Because sometimes I don't even understand what's happening in there.

There are thoughts that arrive without warning. Thoughts that stay longer than they should. Thoughts that contradict each other.

One moment I want to disappear into silence. The next, I want to do everything at once. Sometimes I want company. Sometimes I want everyone to leave me alone. Sometimes I want someone to ask what's wrong. Sometimes I wish nobody would ask.

Sometimes I know exactly what I'm feeling. Sometimes I can only describe it as something.

And maybe that's why writing helps. I don't always write because I have something important to say. Sometimes I write because putting the thought somewhere outside my head makes it feel less crowded inside.

A sentence gives it a shape. A paragraph gives it somewhere to sit.

And maybe that's what this blog really is. Not an explanation. Not a complete picture. Just fragments. Little windows into a mind that is constantly moving.

You might read one post and think you understand me. Then you'll read another and realize you don't. That's okay. I don't always understand me either.

Maybe I don't need every thought to make sense before I am allowed to write it down. Maybe some things are meant to simply be witnessed.

So here. This is a glimpse. Not everything. Just enough to leave the window open.

— ◇ —

A Note on the Painting
Pantalan
Juvenal Sansó, 1963

What I saw in it: a quiet landscape carrying more loneliness than it first appears to.

https://epa.culturalcenter.gov.ph/3/82/2261/