Don't Ask Me If I'm Okay

 

Don't ask me if I'm okay. Not because I don't appreciate that you care. I do.

But sometimes, when someone asks me "Are you okay?" the first thing that comes to my mind is: You won't understand.

And then I don't know what to say. I could tell you what's wrong. But then I'd have to explain it. And explaining it means finding words for something that doesn't always have words.

You might listen. You might even understand some of it. But there are some things I don't know how to translate into a conversation.

So please don't ask me. Just sit with me. Let me be quiet. Let me cry without trying to make me stop. Maybe hug me. Maybe don't say anything at all.

I think I find that more comforting than being asked questions I don't know how to answer.

Sometimes I don't need advice. I don't need someone to tell me that everything will be okay. I don't need someone to find the silver lining. I just need someone who isn't afraid of my silence.

Someone who can sit beside me while I don't have anything to say. Someone who doesn't treat my sadness like a problem that needs to be solved immediately.

Maybe that's what comfort means to me. Not fixing. Not explaining. Just staying.

Because sometimes the most loving thing someone can say is nothing at all. Sometimes it is simply: I'm here.

— ◇ —

A Note on the Painting
Tight Hug
Elmer Borlongan

What I saw in it: the kind of comfort that doesn't require an explanation.

https://www.mutualart.com/Artwork/Tight-Hug/56DD1E457AFE191EB2FA379562746991